My मच्छरदानी which was supposed to protect me but became a cage

 My मच्छरदानी which was supposed to protect me but became a cage

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

When I was a child, I was introverted and shy. On the contrary I had an elder sister, Namrata who was quite a leader, had lots of friends and was very popular. I would sit at home, drawing, painting or reading. I would listen to children's voices skylarking outside and wished I could join them, yet I never could dare.

In summer holidays, we would go to my grandmother's home in a small town. Late evenings meant that I would be fed and then bundled in a मच्छरदानी and told to sleep. I'd lie there miserably, waiting to hear my sister's footsteps on the porch.

She always came. She would come running, open the door and without caring for anyone, call out my name,ordering me to come out to the waiting car sent by my parents who were with their friends a few houses away. The program would be either a late night movie show or just children playing while parents partied.

Every day I waited, and every day she came. I felt like Cinderella rescued by a fairy.

Then decades passed, i grew up, and then at some point, some setbacks happened. I lost confidence. I stopped going out, comforted by own loneliness.

Then one day I took a flight with my sister. Conversation flowed. She asked me what's wrong. I told her everything. She smiled at me, and said "What are you doing with your life? Go out there, give it your best shot. The world needs you." She didn't stop at that, she kept counseling me for hours.

And then, something wonderful happened to me. It was as if I was still in the मच्छरदानी, miserable and lonely. It was as if she came running on the porch, her footsteps loud and clear. It was as if she called out my name again. Called me to come out and play in the sun.

Truly I was in a metaphorical मच्छरदानी, a cage made of my fears.

Thank you, for pulling me out of the shadows in the sun.