Character Dheela

'Character’. That scary word that is held up in front of all girls since the day they are born. The stick with which they are beaten with, the fear that looms around them, day after day, year after year.

I know of girls who are told by their family members to study ‘just enough’, keep their character squeaky clean, and get married quietly to some man on whom they stamp ‘approved’.

I know of girls who are encouraged to study a lot, take professional courses, join intimidating sounding institutes and then… the same fate… get married quietly to some man on whom they stamp ‘approved’.

I know of girls who appear confident and happy, who are given every support by their families, till the day they express a desire to do something that rocks their boat, like study abroad, for example. Hell breaks loose.

The usual response is ‘Get married and then go anywhere, do anything, wear anything.’

Most Indian parents know nothing about having pride in their daughters. They have been conditioned since centuries to only be proud of their sons, and to fear the fate their daughters may unwittingly bring upon them. And that never changes. Daughters are passed on from parents to husbands to sons, like particularly hot potatoes that may burn the hands of the person holding them.

On 5th June, as we were making our way to Air Force Auditorium to watch Alma dance, she told me “Please stay till the end. I have been chosen to dance in the Grand Finale too.”

“Which song ?” I asked, unable to hide the pride in my voice.

She blushed, then rolled up her eyes “Character dheela hai !”

“Wooohooo !” I shouted. I love that song ! I love Salman Khan ! I love his cockiness, his attitude.

I sat through her regular hip hop number, then through all the dance numbers that did not feature her. All around me, teenagers were shouting themselves hoarse. It seemed like fifty thousand spectators at a football match gone insane. I loved the electricity in the air, the excitement throbbing around me. And I was waiting for the last number. I wanted to cheer for her, I wanted to feel that lump in my throat, those happy tears.

And suddenly there she was ! In her white T shirt and denim shorts, jumping up and down, moving like the wind, searing the air like lightning. And the attitude ! Oh, the attitude ! The ATTITUDE ! All there ! Celebrating ‘Character dheela hai’ with just the right spirit.

I cheered, yes. Oh, how I cheered ! I love you, my daughter. And I want you to fly high. Never let anyone drag you down with a raised eyebrow. Promise me that you will fly high, and only focus on your flight. Jump up in the sky and grab fistfuls of stars. They are waiting for you, only you.