Because the birthday of my life is come.

Because the birthday of my life
Is come, my love is come to me.
“Its my 42nd birthday. What do you expect ? Do you think that at this age, I will wear a pink frilly frock and cut a cake ?”
“Well, why not ?” asked Naval
“Why not what ?” I shot back
“Why not wear a pink frilly frock and cut a cake ? Whats so wrong with it ?” Naval persisted
That set me thinking. I know I am a five year old inside, so who am I kidding ? Why should I pretend ? Who cares, in the end ?

My heart is like a singing bird
Whose nest is in a water'd shoot;S
So just three days before my birthday , I went out and got a pretty green dress. No, its not pink and it’s not frilly. Its emerald green, the Scarlett O’Hara color. Not one of my favorites, but well, its not about me this birthday. Its about the five year old who finds green as good as red. Its pretty. Its not elegant or graceful or understated or chic or classy. It’s just pretty, that’s all.

My heart is like an apple-tree
Whose boughs are bent with thick-set fruit;
Next I sent an sms to my folks “Get ready folks, with all the gifts . It’s my birthday.”

For me, my birthday is ‘me time’. Lots of celebrations, of course. But a lot of introspection too. So here goes the introspection part :

My heart is like a rainbow shell
That paddles in a halcyon sea;
I have realized that my instinct is my best friend. No matter what people tell me about anything, I no longer believe it. Because it is THEIR reality, and not mine. Reality varies, it changes shape and form. And no one’s reality can be yours. And your reality cannot be theirs. So I just trust my instincts now. In the stormy seas of life, the worst form of judgment is asking other sailors how they are navigating their boats. Your boat is your boat. Theirs is theirs. Just get on with moving it the way you think best.

My heart is gladder than all these,
Because my love is come to me.
Six years back, I had celebrated my 36th birthday, mired in anxieties and worries. Now six years hence, I look back at that I went through, all the growth, the hard work, the evolution of my soul, and I am filled with peace. I made it. I did. I stuck it out, I fought, I did what it took, but here I am.

Raise me a daïs of silk and down;
Hang it with vair and purple dyes
Along my way, I came across people. There was this time when I was vulnerable, gullible, a little bit of a lost child and I let people in my life. They messed up big time. I showed them the door. I don’t regret my being foolish. And I don’t regret finally realizing facts, getting up and throwing them out of my thoughts and my life. I love myself for this.

Carve it in doves and pomegranates,
And peacocks with a hundred eyes;
I have realized that life throws sand in your eyes constantly, It confuses you, confounds you and it’s upto you to take it from there. When this happens, the best strategy is to stop thinking, put your head down and work really hard at whatever you are working. That’s it. One day along the line, everything will make sense, life will settle down and look rosy again. But till that day, overworking your thinking cells leads to Nowhereville.

Work it in gold and silver grapes,
In leaves and silver fleurs-de-lys;
I have also realized that I am not as vulnerable as I think I am. I am a toughie. I am a rock. And I love that feeling.

So this birthday, with these thoughts of a forty two year old, I shall cut the cake wearing a pretty dress, like a five year old. 18th June, you’re just a few hours away, and I love you, because you are MY birthday !
Because the birthday of my life
Is come, my love is come to me.