Friends. Or Not.

Interacting with people is so confusing – all the people who seem so ‘right’ end up being so ‘wrong' and vice versa.

Like sometimes I meet up people who were my so called long-lost friends, and at the end, I find myself feeling totally confounded – What, exactly WHAT had I seen in them to have stayed friends for ever so long and then have fond memories of them when they lost touch ? Heck, some even had these haloes around their heads in my rosy memories, and hello reality, everything just vanishes in a second.

Sometimes I lose touch with people, and my subconscious surprises me by throwing in occasional dreams about them when I am sleeping. And then I realize I miss them. I need them. I care. I long to be with them. But I can't seem to do anything about it. When I look back, I have traveled so many miles from that point where I had found those crossroads that I just can't find my way back to it. So I plod on, wistfully, with a sense of loss that will haunt me forever and ever.

Sometimes I get carried away by someone's self confidence (since I am a shy person, so naturally I admire the ones who are not), and then somewhere along the way I realize how hollow this whole image thing is. It's all jazz, a lot of shiny, dazzling strobe lights thrown in, and actually nothing but an empty stage.

Over the time I have learned to recognize the signals people give off, and have started learning to make wiser choices.

Here is my list of must-avoids :

* Who seem to have a lot of free time, like ALL the time : They are obviously losers, no matter what they say to you. They are free because they are not useful – and they are not useful because they are lazy, insincere, whatever. But this is for sure, they can do nothing for you. They are like black holes who will swallow everything in sight, including your useful time.

* Who judge others according to their clothes or their bank balance or their cars or whatever : These need to be kept at a very safe distance. In fact, no distance is safe enough for them, they just need to be dropped ASAP. They will fill your head with a lot of nonsense, that can't be shaken off easily. Judgmental people are bad news anyway, but people who judge with this kind of materialistic yardstick are disasters. Imagine chaos. Imagine havoc. That's the kind of effect they have on your psyche.

* Who have lost something or maybe everything, and are really bitter about it : They can't think anything positive. They can't do anything positive. If you will lend them your shoulder to cry on, they will cry endlessly. If you take away your soggy shoulder and appear to be busy building your own life, they will hate you. Yes, they will call you their friend and hate you. They may end up hating you and harming you even more than your own enemies.

* Who need to control you : Run. Far. Away. From. Them. (No, no, don't look back !)

My list of must-have people :

* Who make you laugh : They are must-haves No. 1. Anyone who can make you burst into gales of uncontrollable laughter needs to be put up, no matter what. Such people are like medicines, like antibiotics, like miracle drugs. They are rare – and should be preserved and nurtured. Grab them, and never let them go.

* Who give you solutions : There are people who are instant solution givers, they seem to have an entire list of mysterious phone numbers on their speed dial. You need a print cartridge ? beep beep, here you go. You need a maid ? More beeps, you will get one tomorrow. You are down with fever ? Here's a pill. You need company while you need to go trudging down that awful place which sells art supplies ? They are around. If not that much, then they will give you some really useful suggestions for just about everything on earth. They may not be great at a conversation, they may not make you laugh, but they are super must-haves. These are the least judgmental types. These are people on the go. These are practical people who run this earth.

* Who know you, the real you : I guess only mothers will make it to this category. Or maybe sometimes that rare, rare friend that you have been really fortunate to find. Such people can help you through the confusing maze of strange events that unfold into your life. They will tell you what you need to be told, not what you want to be told. They will remind you of things that need to be remembered, not shoved under carpets. They will also be the only ones who will be proud of you when will do well, unlike others who will just pretend to be happy when you make it.