Walk away

Ever felt so left out in a crowd that it hurts ? Ever felt ridiculous standing in your stilettoes which are pinching your feet, in a velvet dress which is suddenly making you feel hot and bothered, in too much makeup that you long to wash off, and with a fixed smile ? Ever felt like being the only one in a party who does not belong there ?

That is exactly the way one feels in a relationship that has stopped working.

It may have started with a big bang, it may have taken you places but its over now. Don’t you just long to shake off that charade, turn away and walk off from the party where you're no longer are having fun ?

It may be a long road home, maybe its dark outside and your heart trembles at making your way alone on a stony path with no light to guide you. Maybe you fear that someone may see you trying to leave and call out your name, drawing everyone’s unwelcome attention on you. Maybe the sound of the music that floats in the night air still pulls you back, promising you beautiful dreams all over again. Maybe you keep telling yourself that if you stay just a bit longer, the notes of the music will change and you will feel happy again, just the way you used to, when you just walked into this room, seduced by the dreams which never really came true.

But do you really believe it ?

You may have trouble making your way back in the dark night. You may feel so lonely walking alone on the path outside, that you may feel sudden tears in your eyes which will further hinder you vision. You may turn back to look for the last time at the lighted room which once promised you so much and may even feel like running back because the child inside you refuses to let go of the familiar.

But how long do you want to stand here, feeling unwelcome and unwanted ?

Think of the comfort of your own lonesome shadow waiting for you, lonely though it may be, but it is yours. Think of the sudden relief you will feel when you throw these uncomfortable stilettos in the air and wear your old, worn out slippers again. Think of the feeling when you discard this tight and uncomfortable velvet dress and get into your comfortable Ts again.

The music that seduces you may sound distant then. And dream like. After a while you will stop hearing it. It will stop disturbing you. Because finally, you will sleep soundly.

Cinderella's shoes

Every woman is a little girl at heart – and all little girls believed in fairy tales, especially the tale of Cinderella.

Somewhere, deep within, is a fantasy in very girl’s heart that in a big, bad world, there is a prince out there who searching for her, with a beautiful crystal shoe in his hand. The shoe obviously belongs to her – and only her. It would fit only her, and no one else.

Now if one were to imagine the implications of this, it is obvious that the shoe is nothing but the choice exerted by a member of the male species to 'choose’ a member of female species. It is the kind of mind games that males play, in order to get women where they want them to be, that is, either trying very hard to please the males or out the door !

After talking all my life with women of all ages, I have come to this conclusion – women discover the harsh truth as they get on with their lives. Reality check : there may be men (who are disguised as princes) yes, they carry a beautiful shoe in their hand, yes, they wish to curtsy gallantly and make you sit on a plush couch as they delicately make you wear that shoe.

Now comes the hard knock. Brace up girls ! the shoe would most likely NOT fit you ! Guess why ? Because in real life, no man is roaming around with YOUR shoe ! Yes, I know, all men have a shoe in their hand, but its not yours – it belongs to a woman who lives entirely in their imaginations.

Its actually an image of a perfect woman which may vary from man to man.

And do you know, girl, what you are going to do ? You so want to be Cinderella, don’t you ? You will probably cover up the bad fit. Oh, you will overcompensate desperately ! The shoe may be either too big or too small for you. But you will not mind that – you so wish to belong, don’t you ? You will hobble around in a shoe that is two sizes too small for you, you will cover up the wounds that awful shoe from hell gives and smile bravely. Or you will stuff some newspaper in a shoe that is entirely too big for you, walking slowly while the others whiz past you, in an attempt to ádjust’with your man.

Guess what ! None of that works !

The world is full of ladies with different shoe sizes and God forbid if the lady with just the right shoe size walks by while you are hobbling around !

I have known princes changing Cinderellas so fast that your pretty head will spin ! And there you will go, running back, sobbing all the time, feeling like Cinderella’s ugly step sister, all messed up ! Oh, what a waste of a lovely human being that you are !

So what are your options, girls ? - Find a man with a shoe that fits you, you and only you (Fat chance, this ! Happens in the movies, not real life). - Beware of men walking towards you with a sweet smile and promises and a shoe in hand ! (Worth trying, any day !) - Swear off shoes for ever (Yes, walk barefoot ! easier said than done, actually)

Whatever you may do, remember to never, ever wear a shoe that is custom made by someone else’s mind, hoping it ‘would get better’. It never does. You don’t need a Prince who walks around with a check list – you need someone who is looking for the person that you are –and only you can be. Go ahead, send the ones who tell you what to do, straight back to where they came from. . And while you are still thinking about it, why not kick off those uncomfortable shoes and dance in the rain, all alone ?