Walk away

Ever felt so left out in a crowd that it hurts ? Ever felt ridiculous standing in your stilettoes which are pinching your feet, in a velvet dress which is suddenly making you feel hot and bothered, in too much makeup that you long to wash off, and with a fixed smile ? Ever felt like being the only one in a party who does not belong there ?

That is exactly the way one feels in a relationship that has stopped working.

It may have started with a big bang, it may have taken you places but its over now. Don’t you just long to shake off that charade, turn away and walk off from the party where you're no longer are having fun ?

It may be a long road home, maybe its dark outside and your heart trembles at making your way alone on a stony path with no light to guide you. Maybe you fear that someone may see you trying to leave and call out your name, drawing everyone’s unwelcome attention on you. Maybe the sound of the music that floats in the night air still pulls you back, promising you beautiful dreams all over again. Maybe you keep telling yourself that if you stay just a bit longer, the notes of the music will change and you will feel happy again, just the way you used to, when you just walked into this room, seduced by the dreams which never really came true.

But do you really believe it ?

You may have trouble making your way back in the dark night. You may feel so lonely walking alone on the path outside, that you may feel sudden tears in your eyes which will further hinder you vision. You may turn back to look for the last time at the lighted room which once promised you so much and may even feel like running back because the child inside you refuses to let go of the familiar.

But how long do you want to stand here, feeling unwelcome and unwanted ?

Think of the comfort of your own lonesome shadow waiting for you, lonely though it may be, but it is yours. Think of the sudden relief you will feel when you throw these uncomfortable stilettos in the air and wear your old, worn out slippers again. Think of the feeling when you discard this tight and uncomfortable velvet dress and get into your comfortable Ts again.

The music that seduces you may sound distant then. And dream like. After a while you will stop hearing it. It will stop disturbing you. Because finally, you will sleep soundly.