Shooting Stars

I often wonder about those perfect, golden hued relationships that I had found on the way and that had seemed almost too good to be true at that time. They were. Too good to be true.

And so they ended with a blast or sometimes they withered away with hardly a whimper but there it is  -  No longer applicable in the current scheme of things. Ctrl Alt Del. And so here I am, with a lot less baggage than before, almost as good as new, ready to start writing on a blank page again.

It feels good to be this way just before September is coming by. Like a tree shedding off its dead leaves in the fall, I am feeling all bright and happy. The dead weights around my feet have fallen off and I can walk confidently now, without getting tired, without looking over my shoulder at some distant past.

Of course, me being me, just cant move ahead without analyzing why, when and where. And it often strikes me that much as we are fed the diet of ‘relationships are bigger than self’, it is really hogwash. There is nothing bigger than self.

And the ‘self’ evolves – every second, every minute, right before our eyes. We keep moving on, sometimes so slowly that our journey is not even evident till we have moved to some milestone where we can look back and marvel at the view below.

The people who mattered at one time seem to merge with the background. And there is always a tinge of regret for all that has gone by, all that is no more.

But then, there would always be two kinds of people - people who do not make an effort to adapt to your evolving needs and people who would do anything to be important to your life. The latter would discover ways and means to fit into your scheme of things at all stages of your life. They would walk an extra mile to find out what's going on in your life and would try to become an integral part of all that matters to you.

The ones who do not care, simply do not care. Even families drift away - just because they do not care or they stop caring at some point.

We have been conditioned to feel guilty about lost relationships, and so it is natural to feel tortured over the dreams that could not sustain themselves in the unrelenting speed of the wheels of Father Time. But it is absoultely futile. And whatever is futile needs to be trashed.

Coming back to ME, it's like this : Every instance I have hit the ‘forward’ button in my life, I have felt myself fill with such exhilaration and thrill that even the uncertainty of the future had no power to unsettle me. The word ‘take off’ is so exciting – it immediately fills my mind of visions of spectacular things about to happen to me.

So here we go ! And this time, we shall make this journey worth the while.

Hang on there Sujata, we’ll have you shooting stars soon !